That Which I Can Not Change…
What is the old AA chant?
You know, the philosophy on which the program is based.
Hold on now I must look it up……. God Bless Wikipedia!
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.
So it is a mantra (A commonly repeated word or phrase, or a sacred verbal formula repeated in prayer or meditation). It is titled the “Serenity Prayer.” This prayer is used in AA as a way of reminding members that they really have no control over their universe, only over themselves and their own actions and thoughts, their own reactions to thoughts.
So what? I say all this as a precursor to my topic. The topic being that I need to accept the things that happen around me (at home, at work, driving my car) that I can not change.
I speak of a specific issue where the actions of someone else are irritating me to a boiling point.
This is effecting my disposition. I need to rise above. I know this wise person who exists in The Hub with me and they are very Zen. I wish I could figure out how to get to that state within myself. The place where I see something I don’t like but I am capable of accepting that I can not change it.
In my logical mind, I accept that I am powerless over this world and all the things that are going to happen in it. I just can’t seem to convince my fighter mind that the logical side is right and that my fighter should shut up and listen to it. (You know how touchy fighters can be;)
So no, I am not an AA member and I have never had a personal problem with alcohol but I am slightly control freak based. I try real hard to keep my own little insignificant world running smooth and sitting right upon its axis. I just need to accept that I can only keep things controlled to such a point and then it is in the hands of God.
Accept the things I can’t change! It will help life in my world be brighter! God will work out the kinks!
KA POW! BOOM BOOM! …take that fighter side!
Are You Kidding Me?
I am trying to get into bed but I am so morose right now, I can not possibly sleep. I have just glanced out my window and what do you know? SNOW! I am not shoveling that crap! I am not wearing boots! I am not tiptoeing so the hem of my pants aren’t soaking wet all day! I AM NOT, I AM NOT, I AM NOT!
Surely God knows how tortured I am by all of this cold, frigid, whiteness that continues to surround me. My spirits need a real lift. I am seriously considering a bank heist to fund myself a long weekend trip to the Bahamas.
I can see it now…sun, warm and soothing on a white sandy beach and me as I just rest and relax and read a novel and don’t fix anyone dinner or try to find matching socks for anyone or argue with anyone regarding their bill or try to decipher any physicians scribbles or poor over surigical reports searching for the accurate codes. Just me and the sun enjoying the quiet, lullaby of the crashing waves.
Soon, soon it will be summer! Soon, I hope. God will send warm sunny days to Michigan and I can once again become a member of the living as opposed to the stir-crazy Jack Nicholson in The Shining type of person. All I know is if I hear Red or Hively say Red Rum to me even once, the bank heist is going to become a reality because I may be crazy but I am definately not too crazy to know that I am.
