Wher Is Happily Ever After?
Is it wrong to wonder why? Why didn’t my happily ever after last forever?
I am not even sure if I believe in happily ever after anymore, and for me the idealistic, dreamer, this is heart breaking.
This is so crazy but I am slightly obsessing about this right now.
As we drove past a park this afternoon we saw a perfect little nuclear family flying a kite. Mom holding an infant while chatting with dad about the kite; as a preschooler played in the grass near by. I began to spin a tale about them as I moved on the route to our home. My tale revolved around them struggling to raise babies and fighting about daily life. The story involved fun voices for each character. As Red and Hively laughed in the back of the car, the story continued on until ultimately the dad moved out and they divorced.
After I finished Hively asked, “What ever happened to the kids?”
I replied, “You should know, you are those kids!”
What is wrong with me?
I may end up raising kids who don’t think a happy ending is possible if I keep telling them these tales of families that self-destruct and men who flee. But, if I tell them a story that ends happily, I feel like I am telling a fairytale. Is it even possible for me to concoct a happy ending in my imagination? And if I can’t see happiness in my imagination, will I ever be able to find it in real life?
Just Call Me Dear Abby-
Sunday about 20 minutes after the kids got home from their dads, my phone rang. It was him. He was calling to say that he doesn’t know what to do with the kids, especially Hively. Really that is funny, what could the problem be?
It seems that my children are not happy there and that Hively in particular is having issues dealing with the little half-brother there. (He is just over 2 and they as we know are 10 & 8.)
He said he needed advice on how to deal with this situation.
My advice was simple:
You have created this situation and you need to figure out a good solution.
You can’t expect older kids to want to spend a full 48 hours every 2 weeks playing with the baby.
You must recognize that Hively is a mini you and so you know his personality and how to deal with it better than anyone.
You also must recognize there will always be jealousy in that relationship and that is normal. The jealousy will be from both of them but even worse from Hively because the brother is a boy and he is also and it is hard for a boy to not have a dad around.
He did appear to understand all these things and agree with me mostly.
He went to this place though – I told them when I was a kid and my brother and sister were younger and they bothered me…..
At this point I had to cut in and say, “That is irrelevant here! You do that all the time and you don’t seem to get that this situation for them is different from any you had as a kid. He isn’t a brother that lives with them full time and that makes it different!” This is the same issue I had when he called asking me what to do about Hively because he had punched him in the nose while they were wrestling. He made the comment, “If I had done that to my dad…” I was again irritated because his dad was a full time live in role model and not a play mate which is essentially what Red and Hively’s father is to them. He is not seen by them as an authority figure. I can see where he doesn’t get this because he has been such a miniscule part of their lives for so many years. But that is all on him and he needs to at least be adult enough to realize these differences in their upbringing and his own.
Also we had a brief discussion about Red and how she was unhappy to be there. I explained that she doesn’t want to come there anymore. When every other Thursday rolls around, she begins the complaints about not wanting to go. These complaints last until the pick up the following evening. He asked why. I said she has a life and friends here at home and she’d rather be here doing things she enjoys than there bored and lonely.
Another thing I kept quite was…isn’t it funny that the incident back in September appears to have been a sort of breaking point for them both. I know they need a father and in the long run some relationship, no matter how minimal will only help them in discovering who they are. But, it seems that they are both done with these bi-weekly visits that they have been doing for the past 6+ years. And who could blame them?
JUST SAY POLICE TALKING US!
After that last convo with the ex, I had to prepare my kids. I knew from past experiences that when I make any mention of things said to me, the result is, the next visit involves an interrogation. A very unfortunate incident involving this situation occured a few years back and I have remained mum ever since. I want them to talk to me so I keep what they say to myself and try to give helpful advice for how they can handle themselves and their reactions in the situations that frustrate them at his house.
On Thursday evening I sat them both down and explained that since the last visit and the things that happened caused Hively to end up in the hospital, I had NO CHOICE but to speak to their father about what they had told me. Red was most concerned because apparently when these situations arise they have been separated from each other in a room with the dad and step-mom and asked what they said to me and why they said what they had.
RED’s first response was: “And, What did he say? That none of it happened?”
(Such a brilliant 10 year old! I do adore her!)
ME: Yes and he also said he was going to talk to you about it.
ME (again): I add, “If you need to get out of the interrogation, just say I made it all up and you said none of it.
(Anything to get them out of trouble with him!)
They both looked at me funny and said, “What is that? Interrogation?”
I laugh because…how do I explain that word?
ME: You know how when someone is in trouble and the police talks kind of mean to get them to say what they did, that is called interrogating. So if that is going on and you need to get out of it, you have my permission to just say you didn’t say it.
RED: NO! I am not doing that! I am telling him!
HIVELY: Yeah, they were mean to me.
(I know if one is going to sell me out it will be him!)
ME: Well if you need to get out of the interrogation – you know it is fine with me if you need to tell him that.
RED with the most quizzical look on her beautiful face says: Can’t you just say “police talking” us?
And that is where the “serious” discussion ended.
Saturday morning Hively went to the University of Michigan football game with his dad and
he called me from tailgating beforehand to tell me he was fine.
So, I may be “just okay sometimes” but I am still a Magical Rockstar Mommy and he didn’t want me to be too worried. I must say I do love him for that because it did enable me to have a better weekend.
Last night they arrived in a great mood and when I did mention if the “police talking happened” they said it had not. In the car on the way to Shitsilanti on Friday evening he simply asked them if they thought Hively had been treated badly the previous visit. They each said yes and that was it. I also asked Hively if he apologized and he told me he did say, “I am sorry you felt that you were treated badly.”
So, maybe things will be alright after all. Maybe his guilt helped him to learn a valuable lesson and that is a great thing for my kids!
OH and lastly – THANKS! To all of you for reading and praying and caring. Your support means more than I can tell you.
Tried to kill my son – Part 3
CONCLUSION:
I need to wrap this up as the first visit since this ordeal commences tonight at 6pm! UGH! You all need to pray for my babies as they are gone over the next 48 hours. And for me, the mama sitting at home and trying to function through my fear for them.
AHH – Justice System who has the best interest of my minor children in mind – how I love thee!
As Red and Hively talked the tale unraveled, and I was left with nausea.
On Friday night, Hively had been unable to sleep but just lay on the couch (because neither if them have a room there and he has no bed there) and flipped through television channels for hours (WHAT? What channels honey? Have y’all seen what can be found on a cable channel in the wee hours?) before daddy came to check on him. My children have always told me that they will never go get their dad if they wake in the night. They fear being in trouble from their step-mother because going into get their father may wake the brother who does have a bedroom located adjacent to theirs.
On Saturday they went to Chuck E. Cheese (this is why you should avoid this place with your off spring! Especially on the weekends when “part-time” parents go there because they are the “fun” parent). Hively says he made a few trips to the restroom while there because he thought he was going to throw-up. He also says that while in the over-head climber he couldn’t move around because he couldn’t breathe. Back at the homestead, there was an incident where Hively did throw-up. He was yelled at and had paper towels thrown at him and was made to clean up his own vomit. He was followed around with Lysol and everything he touched was sprayed down, as well as requiring him to obsessively wash his hands and stay away from the little brother there. Then on Saturday evening around 9pm Red gave Hively her bed to sleep in for the night. He was coughing and coughing. (I have been the primary care giver for 8 years of his life. For 6 of those he has had diagnosed Asthma. I am confident if I had heard that cough I would have known it as his “asthma cough”. This cough is when I step in and intervene with a puffer, with a breathing treatment, with a doctor visit.) Red proceeds to tell me that while this coughing was going on, the step mother said (something along the lines of), “Great, how are any of us going to get any sleep tonight with that going on?” Yes, that is right. My child was in respiratory distress and she was concerned about her beauty sleep.
On Sunday morning is when I was called and this story began. Except for the minor detail where Red was left at the house with the step mother and brother. They went to get the step mother some breakfast from Burger King (no, not my daughter, just herself.) When my son was admitted his father called there to tell her to bring Red up to the hospital so I could get her back home. She had her sister-in-law come over to keep the brother and when they were talking something was said about me to the effect of why would I be mad about having to come over there and the step mothers response was, “who knows it’s HER, SHE gets mad about EVERYTHING.” In front of my daughter who was already scared and nervous because her brother was so very sick, adding to her anxiety to be worried about me and was I going to be upset when I arrived there.
These people are a joke! After I came home and was SO PISSED! I would not talk to my ex. And he KNEW why. But it took him a few days to come out and ask if I had a problem. I simply said I did but I needed time to calm down before discussing it. He then proceeded to harass me into talking then and there and I proceeded to not answer my phone because it was in EVERYONES best interest for me to cool off before the discussion took place.
As I said at the beginning of this conclusion, the next visit is upon us so this week I had the discussion. Where, I tried to remain non-accusatory and non-confrontational. Where, he denied any wrong doing, going as far to say he would do nothing different. Where, he denied a lot of the things both children said happened. Where, he even went further and called back for a second discussion because he asked his wife about her comments and place in this story and she also denied saying any of these things. And finally where he accused me of feeding these tales to my kids and could I please not do such things because he is their father and he does love them and he would do anything for them.
Yes, this man truly believes he is in the right in this story. This man truly believes he and his wife are “GOOD” to my babies. This man truly believes that “claiming” to love someone and “claiming” you will do anything for them are enough, that actual actions are just a bi-product.
So the tale is done and over I hope. We have made a mutual agreement that if my children are sick they can just stay home and if they get sick while in his care he will contact me and bring them home. We will just have to wait and see how long that holds out…….…and pray!
– PRAY A LOT!
Tried to kill my son – PART 2
He was calling to tell me that the hospital staff is saying they will be keeping my son for at least 48 hours. Great! I didn’t pack for 48 hours. Why so long? But still he insists all is really fine and they are just over reacting.
I am fine to buy this and convince myself this is truth as I drive there because it is an hour trip and I can only get there as fast as my car will go.
I arrive, and my baby is in a room. He is being given constant oxygen, Albuterol treatments every 2 hours and steroids through an IV every 12 hours. Plus a constant Potassium drip because apparently that much Albuterol causes your system to empty of Potassium making a constant replenishing necessary.
In the room are my son, my daughter, my ex-husband and his wife. Shortly after I arrive my ex-in-laws arrive as well. Also close by is my son’s nurse. She conveniently happens to be my ex-husbands new wife’s close friend. (When we divorced, I was faced with the option to stay in my ex’s home town where we had built our life up to that point, or go back to my home town where my family was. I knew I was not prepared to live in a town where I had to see these exact people on a daily basis. All of these people are THE reason I packed up my 2 babies 6 years ago and got the heck out of dodge!)
I keep asking the nurse if 48 hours is necessary because I just want to leave this nightmare and get my son back to his own doctors and our home town. I am going on the belief all along that my ex is right and these people are over reacting. She (the dear friend of the woman who stole my husband and my children’s father resulting in destroying our family) finally looked at me and said, “He isn’t going to leave here before Tuesday. He is a very sick little boy.” That is kind of when I got the first clue that this was all a bit more severe than I was being led to believe. Still, I am stuck in this surreal situation where I am alone with my sick child surrounded by my ex and his family.
Since Hurricane Ike was sending torrential down pours our way that evening, my mom got Red and headed back home. I stayed. My ex who has never been a selfless person says to me, “I can stay here tonight if you need to go home and sleep or go to work tomorrow, I can stay.” I just brushed this off because I wasn’t going anywhere. Later I came to realize this was his guilt surfacing. Guilt that he had let my son get so sick he ended up in the hospital. More on that later…
My ex-mother-in-law is a kind enough woman who offers me to please come to her home and shower and nap if I need to. I thank her and let her know I may do just that. My ex-father-in-law is a very ignorant man who chose this time we had together to make numerous comments on diet and exercise. Comments, that he meant discreetly, but were actually just as bad as if he had sat there, calling me a “fat-ass” while I was in one of the most stressful situations of my life. This should not have been surprising to me due to the fact that when my ex, his son, left me with two babies for a sleazy, tramp he had been sleeping with since my son was about 9 months old, he felt it acceptable to tell me a story of a man who asked his advice on how to get a wife and he told him to lose weight and clean himself up and that turned this mans life around and he got a wife and was well and happy. Once again, a little tale to avoid just coming out and saying, it was okay for him to leave you because you got too fat! Actually, one of the biggest fights my ex and I ever had (and there were some pretty BIG ones!) was over his father speaking rudely about his sister-in-laws weight. This was in the early days of our marriage and I was much thinner at the time but I found this highly offensive and I made the mistake of taking up for this woman and against my ex-father-in-law and my ex was so furious it led to a huge fight between us. This is a simple little snippet of the events I experienced and why it was so awful that my son had to be hospitalized there of all places.
The next day after very little sleep and being woke up about every hour. My ex and his father both arrived to sit all day with us again. His mother was at her home babysitting his and his wife’s son. This would be my children’s half-brother. After waking at about 7 and waiting for the doctor to come until 1130, I realized that because we weren’t at our hospital and our doctor wasn’t coming and I was waiting for a staff doctor who was seeing all new patients, I might as well go and get a shower because the doctor wasn’t coming in anytime soon. And I needed to get away from those two men!
I got to my car called my mom and boo-hooed like a baby! This was the worst experience of my life and it was only half over. My son was sick, my ex had allowed him to get this bad, I was stuck in a town I hate surrounded by people who I wasn’t comfortable with and I was exhausted. I then called my sister who said she’d be there the next morning. They both just listened and encouraged me but it wasn’t as good as having them with me.
I had to go to the store and buy something to change into because I hadn’t expected 48 hours. I then went to my ex-mother-in-laws house to shower. She offered a nap, I said no thanks. She offered food and food money, I said no thanks. She insisted, I said no really I have my own money. She insisted again so I took it and got a sandwich. (I bet her husband wouldn’t have advised that. Me eating I mean!)
I went back to the hospital and stayed. Hively was better, the doctor had been in and didn’t have any new news. Things got better, Hively improved and on Tuesday morning my sister came to sit with me. God bless her! I honestly can’t tell you when I have been happier to see somebody. Hively was happy to see her too. He interacted more when it was just he and I or when she came than all the time they were there in the room with us. Later that morning when the doctor came in he released us to leave. HOME! We were heading home.
We got home and got settled, we beat Red home from school and then when she got home we went to my moms for dinner. This is where the story of Friday night and Saturday began to unfold. A story that had been told and kept from me until I was home; away from the targets of my wrath!
I keep saying “He tried to kill my son.” But it wasn’t like that…..exactly.
This ordeal was exhausting to live and is just as horrible to document so it is parts…
PART 1
It all began a week ago Friday (9/13/08). Well, actually Thursday night. Hively came home with a tad bit of a sniffle. On Friday we woke and shoved off to begin the day. The kiddos went to school and I to work. Around 10am my cell rang and it was Diana at Kel El calling to say Hively is in the office and he doesn’t feel well.” I say alright, his grandma will be there to get him. So G-Ma Joy and Pope pick him up and they go off to shop at Meijer’s. I call and ask about him, she says he is fine just a bit of a cold and he doesn’t feel like schooling it all day. I say cool and proceed to work. It had been arranged that his bff would come over after school and his mom would be over around 530 to collect him before their (Red & Hively) father arrived at 6 to pick up for his bi-monthly visitation weekend. I called to inform the boys mother that Hively had come home and I would still get her son when I got Elana. (She had a work engagement which is why I was getting the bff in the first place.) As I leave work I call G-Ma and ask if I should get Hively before the other kids or after. She says she will meet us at our house because his cough has produced a slight wheeze and she will give him a breathing treatment before we get there. When we arrive home he is fine and she was unable to locate the Nebulizer so he didn’t have a treatment. All fine, he sounds alright and we are unconcerned. He plays with his pal for over an hour and at 530 his father pulls into the drive. I go out to tell him that he is too early and Hively has a friend over. We discuss that Hively has a bit of a cold and I ask if he has a Nebulizer and Albuterol for it (his father also has Asthma). He says he does but to send Albuterol in case he doesn’t have any of that. So, I do this.
SIDE NOTE 1: I hate to send my children away when they are ill. I myself hate to be away from home sick and I know they do to. They only “visit” at their dad’s house and my house is their “HOME.” Plus they are little kids and I know I take the best care of them when they are sick because that is my job as their mommy. So I was very torn about sending them with him but the way this date was working out, I felt I had to. Their father had planned a trip out of town on his next scheduled weekend and if they didn’t go that time it would have been very long between visits.
After I go back into my house I tell Hively his dad has arrived and I need him to do a breathing treatment before he goes. He does as his buddy and he watch an episode of FlapJack and Red goes out to show her father her new Clarinet. Hively finishes the treatment and claims it hurt his chest (that is not a common complaint). I kind of think he is just a bit rushed but mostly fine. He really isn’t wheezing any and seems to be breathing fine. The mother of the friend picks him up and the kids leave with their dad. (After I get Hively a garbage bag because his dad is concerned the chest pain will cause him to vomit.)
The father lives just under an hour away. About 3 hours later I call to check on Hively. The phone isn’t answered. I leave a message stating that I am just calling to check on Hively because the chest pain thing made me nervous and if they can call and let me know he is okay, I would appreciate it. I get no return call. On Saturday I try twice to call and check on him again. There is no answer or return call either of these times. I am unsettled. I have a bad feeling. I sleep badly Friday and Saturday nights. I wake early on Saturday morning (I am a notorious late sleeper. That is my favorite thing about the Saturday the kids go to their dads, I sleep LATE.) I am nervous about his health. He wasn’t even bad, he only had a cold. There should be nothing to be worried this much over. Yet, I am very uneasy. (I do not call during His time with them normally. He has so little time with them; I never try to encroach upon his time. However in a special situation like this, I do not feel an answer or return call to assure me my child is fine is too much to ask. I know this man. Too well. I feel his lack of response to my calls is a controlling mind game that he plays on purpose, to keep me anxious and nervous.)
SIDE NOTE 2: All single parents with primary custody, who have to send their kids off to visitation with the other parent will understand when I say, I have been doing this long enough to know that I have no control over what happens in His home. Short of blatant neglect or abuse, I have no ground to object or complain about what He does with them during His time. I have been doing this long enough that I have come to terms with my lack of control over this situation. I have had to put a tremendous amount of trust into this situation with this man who I do not trust at all. I have HAD to put my most precious belongings in his care and I have to trust he will care for them properly.
Sunday morning arrives and I am woken by my cell ringing at 8am.
It is Him: “Hively is really sick.”
ME: (half awake) “Okay.”
HIM: He keeps saying he wants to come home.
ME: BRING – HIM – HOME!
HIM: Well, I’m just going to take him to the Urgent Care and get him a breathing treatment.
ME: Didn’t you do those at home?
HIM: Well, I did yesterday and I left the room and came back and wasn’t doing them very good. He was alright yesterday, we went to Chuck E. Cheese, and he threw up a couple of times. But he wasn’t wheezing too badly. He slept good last night, all night long, but he sounds bad now. I’ll just take him to the Urgent Care.
ME: If he wants to come home, you can just bring him home.
HIM: No, I’ll take him and get him a couple breathing treatments.
ME: Alright, call me back and let me know when he is better.
It is Sunday, I am up. I am a bit of a nervous wreck. I take a shower and get ready church. My phone never rings. I go to church and I keep my phone on vibrate. As soon as the preacher gets into the podium my phone vibrates. There is a message. I see it is from him and I immediately call him back.
HIM: They are admitting him.
ME: WHAT? WHY?
HIM: I don’t know, it’s really not that bad. I’ve been here for treatments and never been admitted. I can’t believe they are going to keep him.
ME: Okay, well, will they let you leave there and come here? Tell them you can have him in the ER here in 45 minutes, I will meet you there.
HIM: I’ll ask and call you back.
I go back into the church auditorium; I get my purse and whisper to G-Ma Joy what is happening. We leave. She heads home to change, and I do the same. On the way to my house my phone rings again.
HIM: They say no. He would have to go by ambulance and we’d have to pay for that.
ME: Alright then, I’m on my way.
HIM: He’s really not that bad.
ME: Okay, well, I’m on my way! I’ll be there within the hour.
HIM: He is really fine, this is ridiculous.
ME: I’ll be there soon!
I run in my house. I change into jeans. I throw sweats and a sweatshirt into a duffle bag. I throw, his Nintendo DS and games, about 5 of his favorite DVD’s and his portable DVD player into a bag. Oh, and Eclipse by Stephenie Meyer into the bag and fly out the door. I call G-Ma Joy and repeat what he said. She says she will follow me there in her car so she can get Red and come back home with her. As we merge onto the freeway, my phone rings again…it is him.
My Punishment.
I have figured it out!
She is punishing me for being a bad parent!
Who? The first grade teacher of course!
She thinks keeping me at home doing first grade homework will keep me and my kid out of trouble.
I just remembered this conversation from about a week ago.
He said, “Mommy, she wouldn’t let me put that my favorite restaurant was Casino.”
Red asks, “Where is that? I’ve never been there.”
I assume, “Oh, is that somewhere Daddy has taken you?”
(Side Note: Daddy is a bit fond of the tables & chips if you & I haven’t discussed this before.)
He answers us both with, “No it is the place Mommy and I went when you (Red) were gone to Indy with Grandma Aunty.”
I start to rack my brain thinking, where did we go? Where did I take him? (Knowing it was not the actual Casino as I/Mommy is NOT fond of the tables or chips.) Sure it had been only 10 days prior we had been there but you know me. I am lucky if I can tell you what I ate for breakfast this morning!
Then I get it! I reply (a bit too zealously), “OH! YOU MEAN COMO’S!”
Whew, that was close I was scared I had actually taken my 7 year old into a casino, dropped him off to be babysat by a few exotic dancers and spent his college fund on craps. But no, I had merely taken him along with me to dinner as I met with a few pals. (In my mother’s opinion this is just as bad, I should at all times remain sitting at home entertaining munchkins with my legs crossed but that again is a post for a different day.)
My concern is that the first grade teacher has been told this tale of our adventure to the Casino and now thinks me some trashy, low-life, parent.
Well, I meet with her and the Principal in the morning before school so we will see. I will be sure to wear something that shows off my tattoos and massive cleavage in an attempt to trick her into thinking she is right. Then, I will lay her out with my vast knowledge of children and their educational needs and WAHMO! I win! Hopefully to never be sent a damn in class assignment to be completed at home again.
We will see, I will let you know the results tomorrow. Until then, let me know what you do with your kids when you are in desperate need of a little gambling and your local strippers aren’t open for childcare. (Hey when a babysitter costs $10/hour and gas costs nearly $1000 to get anywhere, what is a financially strapped single mama to do?
He WAS Him
We had a Boy Scout Pack Meeting last night. I swear we could just let Hively and Pablo play together for 2 hours on the 1st Monday of each month and they would be just as happy. And us adults could have a drink and talk out loud. I think this sounds better than talking to each other in the hushed tones we are forced to use because the Pack Man (lol!) is carrying on about wanting volunteers for this, that and the other activity. So as usual, Red sits with me and Pablo’s mom and dad. One of the Cub Scouts ends up sitting by her and chatting her up. Pablo’s mom and I are both quite amused by his smoothness as a mere 7 year old. The kids got guts picking up on a 10 year old woman. “Go C, you da manJ”
Also typical, Hively and Pablo are seated at another table talking and laughing and enjoying their fun little 7 year old boy world. Periodically, we parents look over and do the shhh sign, give the evil eye, or just mouth STOP. In one of these moments, when it is my turn, I look over to give the evil eye and there it is. It is my ex looking back at me. An expression, a face, a smirk that is his. And it is coming from my son. Flesh of my flesh, blood of my blood. I know he looks like his dad. I know he acts like his dad. But honest to God, in that moment he was him. It is scary to say but it was an adorable face. One of those expressions I could remember from the good times.
I have often wondered why God would give me this child. This wonderful, sweet, smart child whom I adore with my whole heart. Who is also this challenging boy who pushes my buttons and pushes every limit I set before him. This boy who can get to me exactly the way his dad used to; by nagging and challenging me constantly. My son who has always been his fathers clone (given our relationship that hasn’t ever been a good thing.) So in this moment when I looked at him and saw his dad, I had this amazing moment of clarity. There were good times. I did actually love him despite the many bad times. He wasn’t always wrong or always bad and we both made many mistakes. So Hively being his dad made over isn’t all bad. I think in that moment, I figured out what God intended by giving me Hively. He intended me to learn the lesson of loving someone completely, to love them through everything good and bad. Maybe in the end I will have learned how to be a little less stubborn, a little less critical, and a little more open to other people’s ideas. Maybe in the end, I will have become a better person and all because my baby boy became a man whom I adore no matter who he reminds me of.
And hell, I can even learn to not constantly see my ex in such a bad light because after all my children are perfect and they are half him so I guess he can’t be 100% evil even if he tries to prove to me over and over that he is!
Red goes away…..then comes back
So Red went to Indy for a weekend trip with my sister and her family (2 teen cousins). She had a ball! My Red has always been a Tom-Boy and I worry about her dad/man relationship issues, ALOT! On the way home she shopped with them. She had so much fun and I received a call Saturday evening from my sister. “I am NEVER taking your 10 year old and my 13 year old daughter shopping at the mall again!” My reply, “Oh?!? She had turned into a girl and I didn’t even know it:)” Apparently she wanted to shop, not spend all her money but buy clothes from the same store as her big teenage cousin (ie: American Eagle, Hollister, Aeropostle, Abercrombie, etc.) Look, we shop at Target and Meijer and I frequent TJ Maxx at holidays and such. We aren’t mall shoppers and she was loving the exposure to being an older kid. She came home tired and crabby but she had fun and was good for my sister so all is well. Plus my sister is Bargain Queen of The World so Red has this adorable new outfit for spring and it cost under $30.
While she was gone, I got a glimpse of life with one child. I must say, I enjoyed it alot. Hively and I had fun, we shopped and went to a movie. We built Pirate ships out of Legos and Play Mobile (A huge Rubbermaid container full of them thanks to his BFF who gave them to him. God bless The Hendrens because he is loving this awesome gift.) And he played and played and played with these new toys. There was no fighting and arguing it was just me as the Single Mom of One child and I liked the quiet. I am often grateful that I have 2 because this means through the separation, divorce, remarriage of their dad, new sibling at their dads and visitations in general, they aren’t alone. They have each other to deal with all this with. But God help me there are those days when 2 is too many for just 1 me. I do not want this to be taken wrong. I Love them both so and they are so opposite that I love them both for different reasons, and I am so happy God blessed me with these 2 amazing, wonderful, healthy, people. I just get tired and down and overwhelmed sometimes. So this weekend was nice. Hively and I spend quality one on one time and Red had a fun time being TBFHB (Too Big For Her Britches;) and it is Monday now and that is good too because the weather has broken. Yes y’all it is Sunny and Warmish and Spring has come to Michigan. Things are looking up and I am happy to be again. Happy to just be:)
