Tooth decay was a perennial national problem that meant a mouthful of silver for patients and for dentists a pocketful of gold. ~Claudia Wallis
I am poor. My children are toothless. As a result, of this toothlessness, I have no $green$!
Seriously! This is an issue people.
At Hively’s last dental cleaning, I asked the dentist to look at his bottom front teeth. There was a fully grown-in permanent tooth behind his baby tooth. It was all crooked and bad looking. The dentist said it was fine and the baby one would come out. I questioned this because I always thought the permanent pushed the baby one out and if that hadn’t happened, how would the baby tooth come out all on its own? (It wasn’t even loose.) Red had a Dr. Ortho Donto (her term for him) appointment the next week and since Hively was with us I chose to just ask his quick opinion. He said, that baby tooth absolutely needs to come out so the permanent tooth can move into its appropriate space. He kindly wrote me an instructional note to give the dentist regarding his professional opinion. We made the return appointment, we saw him, he wasn’t happy that I had questioned him, I am sure this was a blow to his ego but I had to do what was best for my child right? Hively had the tooth pulled and it was a bad experience. Poor kid he was scared to death and it hurt. When the tooth was out, it was about 1.5 centimeters long. The roots on that thing were so long, it was obvious to me that it wouldn’t have ever come out on its own. A few weeks later, the $50 bill came in the mail. Usually his dental coverage is great and covers all things. But apparently not tooth pulling, when the mom insists on it. Most likely, because the dentist is offended by such a mom as this.
Since this incident, Hively has had his two front teeth hanging on for months. He refused to eat favorite foods, to smile, to brush them; he basically refused to do anything that would result in them falling out. No matter how many times we discussed the tooth fairy and money and the benefits of pulling them. Nope he wasn’t touching them and he wasn’t even opening his mouth so we could touch them either.
On Tuesday as I sat at work, my cell rang. It was the school office. Just calling to let me know that Grant had been hit in the mouth with a soccer ball and was now front toothless. I think the caller expected me to be concerned. I laughed. I was not concerned, I was relieved! I don’t have $100 bucks lying around to pay the Egotistical Dentist to pull them out. The only unfortunate part of the story was that he lost the teeth, in tall grass on the playground. He and his friends tried to locate them, but they were gone. He was very concerned that the tooth fairy wouldn’t come because the evidence was lost. (I fell asleep!) He forced me awake and had a very angry look! She hadn’t come! (Shit! I am a crappy mother! Tired and crappy! Not a “magical rockstar” moment for me!)
So, I smoothly said oh wait it is over here and he bought it. Or he was so happy to get $10 he pretended to be conned. So he is 10 dollars richer, I am poorer still but at least it was cheaper than the dentist pulling them.
Last night I rushed them off to bed, because I wanted to watch Survivor. After the, I love you’s & sleep goods, were over. I sat down to watch a Gabon elephant encroach upon the Fang camp. Then, Red pops up and into the bathroom. Next thing I know…”HA, HA” she cries! “I did it! I pulled it out!”
WHAT?
Another $5 to a kid and no lunch money for mom!
Don’t these little monkeys and their monkey teeth know we are in a recession?
